About me

Buzaihu is a practice of returning to the present.

buzaihu

Buzaihu doesn’t mean that nothing matters.

To me, it means not being held by what has already passed, or borrowing worries from what has yet to come. It is a reminder to return to the present—to notice, learn, make things, and complete what is in front of me one step at a time.

It is an attitude I value, and one I am still learning to practise.

My story

Growing on Snow:Twelve Years with Skiing

Beginnings: My first encounter with snow

I first stepped onto a ski slope when I was two. My equipment felt heavy, and I had no technique to speak of. I simply let gravity carry me, slowly and unsteadily, down a gentle incline. Yet the cold air brushing my face and the strange sensation of moving across snow captivated me. Something began in that moment.

Me as a young child wearing ski gear at the resort
My first encounter with the mountain, at age two.

By my second winter, I had my first pair of skis and began learning in earnest at Wanlong Resort in Chongli. The skis seemed to extend my feet and set my curiosity free. Before long, I was no longer content to follow closely behind an instructor; I wanted to explore every corner of the mountain for myself.

Me as a young child skiing on a beginner slope in blue ski clothes
With my first pair of skis, I began learning in earnest.
Me skiing independently along a snow-covered forest trail
Gradually, I went from following an instructor to exploring on my own.

The slopes became more than a playground. They were also where I formed some of my earliest friendships. At winter camps, my friends and I chased one another down the runs and shared hot chocolate during breaks. Their laughter made even the coldest landscape feel warm.

Two winter-camp friends and me posing together in ski gear
Friendship on the slopes brought warmth to the longest winters.

When passion became competition

By the time I started school, I had skied many of Chongli’s resorts and trails. The mountain had become a familiar companion, and every descent was a new exploration of freedom, speed, and control.

Me carving a fast turn on an open ski slope

An instructor noticed my commitment and suggested that I try competitive training. Eager to ski faster and refine my technique, I joined a racing club and entered the demanding world of alpine competition.

Me practising a carved turn while wearing alpine racing guards
Moving from free skiing to structured training meant refining every movement to a higher standard.
Members of the alpine racing club gathering beside a training course
Before training: competitive sport was also a journey of persistence shared with teammates.

Passion got me started; repetition taught me how to persist. During the pandemic years, my winters followed two precise, parallel tracks: training and school.

  • 5:00 a.m. Wake up, prepare more than five kilograms of equipment, eat breakfast, and get ready in the winter darkness.
  • 7:00 a.m. Arrive at the mountain, put on my boots and skis, and begin several hours of intensive training.
  • 2:00 p.m. Finish on-snow training, return home, recover, and stretch.
  • Afternoon and evening Shift my full attention to schoolwork and complete the day’s assignments.
  • 9:00 p.m. Go to bed so my body can recover for the next day.

Balancing training and school taught me to manage my time, work under pressure, and remain focused when I was tired—and persistent when I was cold.

The effort gradually showed in my results. I began competing in U-series and other youth ski races, gaining experience through every start, mistake, and finish—and earning achievements that mattered deeply to me.

Me on the youth alpine competition podium at the second Beijing Winter Games
The youth alpine competition at the second Beijing Winter Games.
Me lowering my centre of gravity as I pass a gate in an alpine ski race
Committing fully through the gate and towards the finish.

When effort did not bring an immediate answer

Competitive sport taught me a difficult truth: results do not improve automatically simply because you have worked hard.

At eleven, I went through a rapid growth spurt and soon stood over 170 centimetres tall. Alpine skiing depends on precise balance and agility, so the sudden change in my proportions forced me to reconsider and rebuild many movements that had once felt natural.

The training continued, but the times on the clock stopped improving and sometimes became slower. As teammates began to overtake me, I experienced uncertainty and self-doubt on a scale I had never known before. The mountain that had once given me such joy and confidence suddenly felt heavy.

That period forced me to accept that more training alone cannot solve every problem immediately. Resilience is not only about pushing through discomfort. It also requires the honesty to face change and the patience to rethink both your body and your goals.

Beyond the setback, a wider mountain

A family ski trip abroad became a turning point.

Away from the red and blue gates of the racecourse, I stood among open mountains and natural powder and saw another side of skiing. I watched older skiers glide lightly through the trees and young children tumble into the snow, laugh, and climb back up. People were skiing simply because the sun was bright, the snow was good, and moving freely made them feel alive.

A family member and me lying side by side in deep snow among the trees
Away from the clock, I rediscovered the simple joy of skiing.

In that moment, I began to make peace with my anxiety and reconsider what skiing meant to me.

I may not become the professional alpine skier standing at the very top of the podium. But skiing can still give me a richer, more resilient heart.

Skiing has taught me far more than how to cross a finish line in less time:

  1. To remain disciplined through cold, fatigue, and solitude;
  2. To brush off the snow, stand up, and try again after a fall;
  3. To adapt when my body or circumstances change—and to reconsider what success means.

That difficult period did not end my story with skiing. Instead, it freed me from judging myself by winning and losing alone. My focus widened from defeating an opponent to exploring the world—and understanding myself.

I will carry the resilience, discipline, and curiosity I found on the mountain into whatever comes next. This is my skiing story, and my story of growing up. It is still being written.